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Arthur Schopenhauer
_
The Art of Literature
A poet or philosopher should have no fault to find with his age if it only permits him to do his work undisturbed in his own corner; nor with his fate if the corner granted him allows of his following his vocation without having to think about other people.
book-quote
funny
philosophy
misanthropy
Elizabeth Gilbert
_
Eat, Pray, Love
I love my pizza so much, in fact, that I have come to believe in my delirium that my pizza might actually love me, in return. I am having a relationship with this pizza, almost an affair.
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funny
Markus Zusak
_
I Am the Messenger
There are just people going about what they always do.Talking. Parking crooked.
book-quote
humor
funny
people
Markus Zusak
_
Underdog
Best friends one, and now we have almost nothing to say to each other. It was interesting, how he had joined those guys and I just stayed on my own. I didn't like it or dislike it. It was just funny that things had turned out that way.
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funny
friends
like
R.L. Stine
_
Ghost Camp
At least I rescued your poor hot dog.
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humor
funny
grief
Ta-Nehisi Coates
_
The Beautiful Struggle: A
Whenever a woman smiled his way, she'd already begun dividing her life into trimesters.
book-quote
funny
David Eddings
_
Castle of Wizardry
Your--ah--intervention, shall we say, has simplified things in the palace enormously. We no longer have to worry about Salmissra's whims and peculiar appetites. We rule by committee, and we hardly ever find it necessary to poison each other anymore. No one's tried to poison me for months.
book-quote
funny
witty
garion
David Eddings
_
Castle of Wizardry
The priest DID have it coming, though," Lelldorin declared hotly."What priest?""The priest of Chaldan at that little chapel who wouldn't marry us because Arianna couldn't give him a document proving she had her family's consent. He was very insulting.""Did you break anything?""A few of his teeth is about all-- and I stopped hitting him as soon as he agreed to perform the ceremony.
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funny
hilarious
garion
J.K. Rowling
_
Harry Potter and the
Oh, there you are, Albus,' he said. 'You've been a very long time. Upset stomach?''No, I was merely reading the Muggle magazines,' said Dumbledore. 'I do love knitting patterns.
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funny
muggles
J.K. Rowling
_
Harry Potter and the
Which way did they go, Peeves?" Filch was saying. "Quick, tell me." "Say 'please.'" "Don't mess with me, Peeves, now where did they go?" "Shan't say nothing if you don't say please," said Peeves in his annoying singsong voice. "All right- PLEASE." "NOTHING! Ha haaa! Told you I wouldn't say nothing if you didn't say please! Ha ha! Haaaaaa!" And they heard the sound of Peeves whooshing away and Filch cursing in rage.
book-quote
humor
funny
harry-potter
J.K. Rowling
_
Harry Potter and the Order of
You know, I don't get why Fred and George only got three O.W.L.s each," said Harry, watching as Fred, George, and Lee collected gold from the eager crowd. "They really know their stuff. . . .""Oh, they only know flashy stuff that's no real use to anyone," said Hermione disparagingly."No real use?" said Ron in a strained voice. "Hermione, they've got about twenty-six Galleons already. . . ."
book-quote
funny
george-weasley
useless-talents
Beth Revis
_
Shades of Earth
But of course these are scientists. Tell them to leave something alone, and all they want to do is poke it with a stick.
book-quote
funny
scientists
shades-of-earth
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