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funny
Quotes of Category: funny
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Tad Williams
_
The Dirty Streets of Heaven
I haven't met that many women, human or angelic, who actually like to drive. In my experience they seem to be much more pragmatic about the whole thing than we are. For most males, driving is an extension of their masculinity; they have little fantasy scenarios going all the time - races, chases, and dramatic combat with other drivers. Females, on the other hand, generally seem to view driving as something you do to get somewhere. I know, crazy.
book-quote
funny
men-and-women
Tad Williams
_
Shadowrise
Whatever my ancestors did to you, none of them consulted me.
book-quote
funny
Alison Weir
_
Innocent Traitor
His handsome face is suffused with rage. He stands before me shaking, then to my disgust, bursts into noisy tears; "I shall tell my mother of you!" he sobs and crashes out of the chamber
book-quote
funny
jane-grey
innocent-traitor
Nick Hornby
_
A Long Way Down
No one's stopping you," said Jess. "But you've got to make it more interesting. That's why why we drift off and talk about biscuits.
book-quote
funny
humour
Nick Hornby
_
About a Boy
Marcus couldn't believe it. Dead. A dead duck. OK, he'd been trying to hit it on the head with a piece of sandwich, but he tried to do all sorts of things, and none of them had ever happened before. He'd tried to get the highest score on the Stargazer machine in the kabab shop on Hornsey road - nothing. He'd tried to read Nicky's thoughts by staring at the back of his head every maths lesson for a week - nothing. It really annoyed him that the only thing he'd ever achieved through trying was something he hadn't really wanted to do that much in the first place. And anyway, since when did hitting a bird with a sandwich ever kill it? People spend half their lives throwing things at the ducks in Regent's Park. How come he managed to pick a duck that pathetic?
book-quote
funny
Jonathan Safran Foer
_
Everything Is Illuminated
YOU WILL DRINK THE COFFEE UNTIL I CAN SEE MY FACE IN THE BOTTOM OF THE CUP!" I did not mean to roar. "But it's a clay cup." "I DO NOT CARE!" He finished the coffee. "You did not have to finish it," I said, because I could perceive that he was rebuilding the Great Wall of China with shit bricks.
book-quote
funny
Christine Feehan
_
A Christine Feehan Holiday
Are you ever going to kiss me without swearing first?
book-quote
funny
jessica
Katie McGarry
_
Dare You To
Twenty she curses you out by lunch," says Chris."Thirty she kills you by lunch," adds Logan."I'm getting her number."The two of them laugh.
book-quote
humor
funny
Katie McGarry
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Nowhere But Here
Oz lists the hem of his shirt, exposing his cut abs, and wipes his brow with the material. Oh my with chocolate on top. That was just beautiful.
book-quote
funny
hot
oz
Katie McGarry
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Dare You To
Nothing makes you think you might need years of therapy like saying the word breasts in front of your mother.
book-quote
funny
fiction
humour
Margaret Atwood
_
MaddAddam
Would I laugh?""Matter of fact, you would," says Zeb. "Heart like shale. What you need is a good fracking.
book-quote
funny
pun
puns
Sophie Kinsella
_
Shopaholic to the Stars
I mean, here we are in LA. The home of celebrities. They're the local natural phenomenon. Everyone knows you come to LA to see the celebrities, like you go to Sri Lanka to see the elephants.
book-quote
humor
funny
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