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Category: humor
Quotes of Category: humor
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  1. Frank Portman _ King Dork

    There's always a bit of suspense about the particular way in which a given school year will get off to a bad start.
    book-quotehumorschool

  2. Alexandre Dumas _ The Count of Monte Cristo

    My dear fellow " Said Albert, turning to Franz " here is an admirable adventure; we will fill our carriage with pistols, blunderbusses, and double-barreled shotguns. Luigi Vampa comes to take us, and we take him - we bring him back to Rome , and present him to him holiness the Pope, who asks how he can repay so great a service; Then we merely ask for a cariage and a pair of horses, and we will see the Carnival in the carriage , and doubtless the Roman people will crown us at the capitol , and proclaim us, like Curtius and the veiled Horatius, the preservers of there country." Whilst Albert proposed this scheme, signor Pastrini's face assumed an expression impossible to describe.
    book-quotehumorfunnyidea

  3. W. Somerset Maugham _ Of Human Bondage

    It is clear that men accept an immediate pain rather than an immediate pleasure, but only because they expect a greater pleasure in the future. Often the pleasure is illusory, but their error in calculation is no refutation of the rule. You are puzzled because you cannot get over the idea that pleasures are only of the sense; but, child, a man who dies for his country dies because he likes it as surely as a man eats pickled cabbage because he likes it."
    book-quotelifehumorpleasure

  4. Laurie R. King _ A Letter of Mary

    Everyone is allowed a weakness, even women of the twentieth century.
    book-quotehumorwomenweakness

  5. Laurie R. King _ The Beekeeper's Apprentice

    I dislike the idea of a murderer employing children,' said Holmes darkly. 'It is, I agree, bad for their morals, and interferes with their sleep.' 'And their schooling,' added Holmes sententiously.
    book-quotehumor

  6. Laurie R. King _ The Beekeeper's Apprentice

    I undid the wrappings with great curiosity, for Holmes did not normally give gifts. I opened the dark velvet jeweller's box and found inside a shiny new set of picklocks, a younger version of his own. "Holmes, ever the romantic. Mrs. Hudson would be pleased.
    book-quotehumorromancesherlock-holmes

  7. Paul Beatty _ The Sellout

    Objection! This defendant, evil genius that he is, has through his abhorrent actions managed to racially discriminate against every race all at the same time, to say nothing of his unabashed slaveholding. The state of California feels that it has more than enough evidence to prove that the defendant is in abject violation of the Civil Rights Acts of 1866, 1871, 1957, 1964 and 1968, the Equal Rights Act of 1963, the Thirteenth and Fourteenth Amendments, and at least six of the goddamn Ten Commandments.
    book-quotehistoryhumorlaw

  8. Paul Beatty _ Slumberland

    Look, dude, you've sampled your life, mixed those sounds with a funk precedent, and established a sixteen-bar system of government for the entire rhythm nation. Set the Dj up as the executive, the legislative, and judicial branches. I mean, after listening to your beat, anything I've heard on the pop radio in the last five years feels like a violation of my civil rights.
    book-quotehumormusic

  9. Paul Beatty _ Slumberland

    Man, didn't anybody ever tell you that art is propaganda? It doesn't matter whether you think it should be or it shouldn't be, it just is, and motherfucker, like or not, you're sitting on a funky Magna Carta.
    book-quotehumormusicdj-blaze

  10. Kim Fielding _ Good Bones

    'We're not... we haven't been writing poetry and sprinkling rose petals and tripping hand in hand under rainbows, Kay.' 'Just because you have Y chromosomes doesn't mean you can't tell each other how you feel, Dylan. Your penises won't fall off if you do.'
    book-quotehumorfeelingsm-m-romance

  11. Kay Berrisford _ Bound for the Forest

    It felt like he'd been dragged through the nine circles of hell - by his testicles.
    book-quotehumorfantasyerotica

  12. Haruki Murakami _ Sputnik Sweetheart

    Reality was one step out of line, a cardigan with the buttons done up wrong.
    book-quotehumor
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