On All Dogs Go to Heaven:
Lastly, the heaven illustrated in the movie didn't seam much like the one being advertised during Big Church services. I mean, three was a whippet dog playing the role of Saint Peter, which is super dubious because I think if dogs uniformly had to elect a particular breed as the representative sample of goodness greeting them as the shuffled off their mortal coils {leashes?} and entered into eternity, it would probably go:
1} Golden Retriever: Might be more angelic than Saint Peter IMO
2} Labrador Retriever: The All-American, apple pie-sniffing dog next door.
3} Siberian Huskies: Those eyes tho.
4} Beagle: Scrappy, overachieving everydogs
5} German Shepherd: Would be higher but lost a ton of points thanks the unfortunate connection to the Big Bads of WW2.
6} Whippets: They look like they are either embarking upon or just recovering from an intense drug habit.
LAST PLACE: CORGIS: These dogs are probably the gatekeepers to hell*. While cute, this dog is more useless than a urinal cake-flavored Popsicle. My parents have had two of these dogs and all they were good at was being emotional terrorists. Zero stars, would not recommend.
*I know Greek myth says it's Cerberus, a giant, three-headed dog, and it makes no mention of dog breed, but I can guarantee you that Cerberus must have had three large and stupid Corgi heads.
Lastly, the heaven illustrated in the movie didn't seam much like the one being advertised during Big Church services. I mean, three was a whippet dog playing the role of Saint Peter, which is super dubious because I think if dogs uniformly had to elect a particular breed as the representative sample of goodness greeting them as the shuffled off their mortal coils {leashes?} and entered into eternity, it would probably go:
1} Golden Retriever: Might be more angelic than Saint Peter IMO
2} Labrador Retriever: The All-American, apple pie-sniffing dog next door.
3} Siberian Huskies: Those eyes tho.
4} Beagle: Scrappy, overachieving everydogs
5} German Shepherd: Would be higher but lost a ton of points thanks the unfortunate connection to the Big Bads of WW2.
6} Whippets: They look like they are either embarking upon or just recovering from an intense drug habit.
LAST PLACE: CORGIS: These dogs are probably the gatekeepers to hell*. While cute, this dog is more useless than a urinal cake-flavored Popsicle. My parents have had two of these dogs and all they were good at was being emotional terrorists. Zero stars, would not recommend.
*I know Greek myth says it's Cerberus, a giant, three-headed dog, and it makes no mention of dog breed, but I can guarantee you that Cerberus must have had three large and stupid Corgi heads.
( Knox McCoy )
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