Author: Knox McCoy
Quotes of Author: Knox McCoy
On All Dogs Go to Heaven:Lastly, the heaven illustrated in the movie didn't seam much like the one being advertised during Big Church services. I mean, three was a whippet dog playing the role of Saint Peter, which is super dubious because I think if dogs uniformly had to elect a particular breed as the representative sample of goodness greeting them as the shuffled off their mortal coils {leashes?} and entered into eternity, it would probably go:1} Golden Retriever: Might be more angelic than Saint Peter IMO2} Labrador Retriever: The All-American, apple pie-sniffing dog next door.3} Siberian Huskies: Those eyes tho.4} Beagle: Scrappy, overachieving everydogs5} German Shepherd: Would be higher but lost a ton of points thanks the unfortunate connection to the Big Bads of WW2.6} Whippets: They look like they are either embarking upon or just recovering from an intense drug habit.LAST PLACE: CORGIS: These dogs are probably the gatekeepers to hell*. While cute, this dog is more useless than a urinal cake-flavored Popsicle. My parents have had two of these dogs and all they were good at was being emotional terrorists. Zero stars, would not recommend.*I know Greek myth says it's Cerberus, a giant, three-headed dog, and it makes no mention of dog breed, but I can guarantee you that Cerberus must have had three large and stupid Corgi heads. book-quoteOn All Dogs Go to Heaven:Lastly, the heaven illustrated in the movie didn't seam much like the one being advertised during Big Church services. I mean, three was a whippet dog playing the role of Saint Peter, which is super dubious because I think if dogs uniformly had to elect a particular breed as the representative sample of goodness greeting them as the shuffled off their mortal coils {leashes?} and entered into eternity, it would probably go:1} Golden Retriever: Might be more angelic than Saint Peter IMO2} Labrador Retriever: The All-American, apple pie-sniffing dog next door.3} Siberian Huskies: Those eyes tho.4} Beagle: Scrappy, overachieving everydogs5} German Shepherd: Would be higher but lost a ton of points thanks the unfortunate connection to the Big Bads of WW2.6} Whippets: They look like they are either embarking upon or just recovering from an intense drug habit.LAST PLACE: CORGIS: These dogs are probably the gatekeepers to hell*. While cute, this dog is more useless than a urinal cake-flavored Popsicle. My parents have had two of these dogs and all they were good at was being emotional terrorists. Zero starts, would not recommend.*I know Greek myth says it's Cerberus, a giant, three-headed dog, and it makes no mention of dog breed, but I can guarantee you that Cerberus must have had three large and stupid Corgi heads. book-quoteOn All Dogs Go to Heaven:Lastly, the heaven illustrated in the movie didn't seam much like the one being advertised during Big Church services. I mean, three was a whippet dog playing the role of Saint Peter, which is super dubious because I think if dogs uniformly had to elect a particular breed as the representative sample of goodness greeting them as the shuffled off their mortal coils {leashes?} and entered into eternity, it would probably go:1} Golden Retriever: Might be more angelic than Saint Peter IMO2} Labrador Retriever: The All-American, apple pie-sniffing dog next door.3} Siberian Huskies: Those eyes tho.4} Beagle: Scrappy, overachieving everydogs5} German Shepherd: Would be higher but lost a ton of points thanks the unfortunate connection to the Big Bads of WW2.6} Whippets: They look like they are either embarking upon or just recovering from an intense drug habit.LAST PLACE: CORGIS: These dogs are probably the gatekeepers to hell*. White cute, this dog is more useless than a urinal cake-flavored Popsicle. My parents have had two of these dogs and all they were good at was being emotional terrorists. Zero starts, would not recommend.*I know Greek myth says it's Cerberus, a giant, three-headed dog, and it makes no mention of dog breed, but I can guarantee you that Cerberus must have had three large and stupid Corgi heads. book-quote
