I'm a virgin, Alex. What if I do everything wrong?"
"There is no here. This isn't a test in Peterson's class. This is you and me. The rest of the world is shut out right now, okay?"
"Okay," she says softly. Her eyes are glistening. Is she crying?
"I don't deserve you. You know that, , don't you?"
"When are you gonna realize you're one of the good guys?" When I don't answer, she pulls my head down to hers. "My body is yours tonight, Alex," she whispers against my lips. "Do you want it?"
"God, yes." As we make out, I shrug off my jeans and briefs and hug her tight, devouring the softness and warmth of her body against mine. "Are you scared?" I whisper in her ear when she's ready and I'm ready and I can't wait any longer.
"A little, but I trust you."
"Relax, "
"I'm trying."
"This won't work unless you relax." I pull away and reach for a condom, my hands shaking. "You sure about this?" I ask.
"Yes, yes, I'm sure. I love you, Alex," she says. "I love you," she says again, saying it almost desperately this time.
I let her words seep into my body and hold myself back, not wanting to hurt her. Who am I kidding? The first time for a girl hurts, no matter how careful a guy is.
I want to tell her how I feel, tell her how much she's become the center of my being. But I can't. The words won't come.
"Just do it," she says, sensing my hesitation.
So I do, but when she sucks in a breath, I just wish I could take the pain away from her.
She sniffs and wipe a tear that's running down her cheek. Seeing her that emotional is my undoing. For the first time since I saw my dad lying dead in front of me, a tear drops from my eye.
"There is no here. This isn't a test in Peterson's class. This is you and me. The rest of the world is shut out right now, okay?"
"Okay," she says softly. Her eyes are glistening. Is she crying?
"I don't deserve you. You know that, , don't you?"
"When are you gonna realize you're one of the good guys?" When I don't answer, she pulls my head down to hers. "My body is yours tonight, Alex," she whispers against my lips. "Do you want it?"
"God, yes." As we make out, I shrug off my jeans and briefs and hug her tight, devouring the softness and warmth of her body against mine. "Are you scared?" I whisper in her ear when she's ready and I'm ready and I can't wait any longer.
"A little, but I trust you."
"Relax, "
"I'm trying."
"This won't work unless you relax." I pull away and reach for a condom, my hands shaking. "You sure about this?" I ask.
"Yes, yes, I'm sure. I love you, Alex," she says. "I love you," she says again, saying it almost desperately this time.
I let her words seep into my body and hold myself back, not wanting to hurt her. Who am I kidding? The first time for a girl hurts, no matter how careful a guy is.
I want to tell her how I feel, tell her how much she's become the center of my being. But I can't. The words won't come.
"Just do it," she says, sensing my hesitation.
So I do, but when she sucks in a breath, I just wish I could take the pain away from her.
She sniffs and wipe a tear that's running down her cheek. Seeing her that emotional is my undoing. For the first time since I saw my dad lying dead in front of me, a tear drops from my eye.
( Simone Elkeles )
[ Perfect Chemistry ]
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