Dennis and Mario, meanwhile, have fallen behind to debate the merits and demerits of Mario's new phone. 'The thing you don't understand about this phone is that it's state of the art, which means, this is the best phone you can get.'
'I do understand that, you moron, I'm saying what's the point of having a state-of-the-art phone when everyone who's going to call you on it is living six feet away from you?'
'I think what it is, is, you are jealous of my state-of-the-art phone, which has a camera and an MP3 player.'
'Mario, if you can't see why your parents suddenly gave you that gay phone you're even dimmer than I thought. I mean, think about it, they leave you in school for the entire holiday, and then they give you some rinky-dink piece of plastic so they can talk to you without having to see you face-to-face. They couldn't say, "We don't love you" more clearly if they wrote it in skywriting over the rugby pitches.'
'That shows what you know, because my parents do love me.'
'Well, why did they leave you here over mid-term, then?'
'They did not go into it, but they were very specific about it not being because they didn't love me, and I know because I asked them that very question.
'I do understand that, you moron, I'm saying what's the point of having a state-of-the-art phone when everyone who's going to call you on it is living six feet away from you?'
'I think what it is, is, you are jealous of my state-of-the-art phone, which has a camera and an MP3 player.'
'Mario, if you can't see why your parents suddenly gave you that gay phone you're even dimmer than I thought. I mean, think about it, they leave you in school for the entire holiday, and then they give you some rinky-dink piece of plastic so they can talk to you without having to see you face-to-face. They couldn't say, "We don't love you" more clearly if they wrote it in skywriting over the rugby pitches.'
'That shows what you know, because my parents do love me.'
'Well, why did they leave you here over mid-term, then?'
'They did not go into it, but they were very specific about it not being because they didn't love me, and I know because I asked them that very question.
( Paul Murray )
[ Skippy Dies ]
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