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Book: Theft by Finding: Diaries 1977-2002
Quotes of Book: Theft by Finding: Diaries
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  1. David Sedaris _ Theft by Finding: Diaries

    Adrienne started teaching a few months ago in Denver and wrote that it leaves you with a constant feeling of deceiving people. That you know nothing they don't, or couldn't learn on their own if they cared to.
    book-quoteteaching

  2. David Sedaris _ Theft by Finding: Diaries

    You haven't lived until you've sailed
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  3. David Sedaris _ Theft by Finding: Diaries

    I realized I was a teacher when I felt warm during class and got up to open the door. Later on there was noise in the hallway, so I got up and shut it. Students can't open and close the door whenever they feel like it.
    book-quoteteachingcollege

  4. David Sedaris _ Theft by Finding: Diaries

    March 30, 1998Because I was in a bind with my BBC story, I devoted most of my day to defrosting the freezer.
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  5. David Sedaris _ Theft by Finding: Diaries

    Half the people I know have dead animals in their freezers: reptiles, birds, mammals. Is that normal?
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  6. David Sedaris _ Theft by Finding: Diaries

    The nice thing about crowds is that someone can throw a bottle and you don't take it personally.
    book-quoteurban-life

  7. David Sedaris _ Theft by Finding: Diaries

    I'm not a misogynist. I'm a misanthrope. I hate everyone equally.
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  8. David Sedaris _ Theft by Finding: Diaries

    I have $211 and it doesn't make any sense.
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  9. David Sedaris _ Theft by Finding: Diaries

    A few hours laterDad called again. The vet had put his Great Dane, Sophie, on antibiotics, and, figuring it was all basically the same thing, he had started taking them. "I'm just not sure of the dose," he said. Lisa then called me. "Can you believe this?" I thought she was upset that her father was taking pills meant for a dog, and then I remembered who I was talking to. "I mean, how is Sophie supposed to get better when Dad is taking all her medicine? I just don't think that's right.
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  10. David Sedaris _ Theft by Finding: Diaries

    We passed a gun shop advertising a "Blowout Sale.While listening to a country music station,we heard a talk/song narrated by our flag. "I flew proudly at Iwo Jima and the blustering deserts of Kuwait, anywhere freedom is threatened, you will find me.
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  11. David Sedaris _ Theft by Finding: Diaries

    Randall, the gay alcoholic in the house next door, boldly peeps through my windows. 'Boy, you sure rock in that chair a lot,' he said last week, his face pressed against my screen. This time I was lying on my bed with Katherine's cats. I'm watching them while she's out of town. I can be very mushy, and he watched me kissing them and saying that all the other cats in the neighborhood were jealous of their beauty.
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  12. David Sedaris _ Theft by Finding: Diaries

    After a year, you realize it takes time to rail against injustice, time you might better spend questioning fondue or describing those ferrets you couldn't afford. Unless, of course, social injustice is you thing, in which case- knock yourself out. The point is to find out who you are and to be true to that person. Because so often you can't. Won't people turn away if they know the real me? you wonder.
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