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Book: Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk: A Modest Bestiary
Quotes of Book: Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk: A
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  1. David Sedaris _ Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk: A

    Broke a nail clean off, and when it grew back it looked like a Brazil nut.
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  2. David Sedaris _ Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk: A

    The child opened her beak even wider, and the stork let out a moan. "It really wouldn't hurt you to take an interest in others," she said. "I tell you I'm depressed, I tell you I feel cornered and lonely, and your response is 'Fine. Now feed me,' which is actually very insensitive of you. All mothers feel unconditional love for their children, but there's a timer on it, all right. It doesn't last forever, especially when you're selfish."The child closed her beak.
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  3. David Sedaris _ Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk: A

    Nothing irritated her more than these high-and-mighty vegetarians who ate meat sometimes and then decided that it didn't really count.
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  4. David Sedaris _ Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk: A

    The hippo did, and I heard what sounded at first like a rabble, many voices talking over one another. Then I realized that they weren't talking."Let me get this straight," the hippo said when I explained what was going on. "Leeches are singing inside my asshole.
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  5. David Sedaris _ Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk: A

    between the disfigurement and the muzzle, it's nearly impossible to catch what she's saying. Always, though, while tripping and stumbling to the music, she looks out into her audience and tells the story about her mother. Most people laugh and yell for her to lift her skirts, but every so often she'll spot someone weeping and swear they can understand her every word.
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  6. David Sedaris _ Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk: A

    Leeches are singing in my asshole.
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  7. David Sedaris _ Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk: A

    Plenty of animals had pets, but few were more devoted than the mouse, who owned a baby corn snake-"A rescue snake, she'd be quick to inform you. This made it sound like he'd been snatched from the jaws of a raccoon, but what she'd really rescued him from was a life without her love. And what sort of a life would that have been?
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  8. David Sedaris _ Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk: A

    the taste of warm rain; the smell of a baby; the din of a swollen river, rushing past her tree and onward to infinity.
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  9. David Sedaris _ Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk: A

    The squirrel and the chipmunk had been dating for two weeks when they ran out of things to talk about.
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  10. David Sedaris _ Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk: A

    Story-telling is pivotal to our well-being, as are nonethnic jokes and riddles.
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  11. David Sedaris _ Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk: A

    I attribute my wife's language to the fact that she's one-quarter spaniel. She says she's only an eighth, but, come on, the ears say it all. That and her mouth. {The Faithful Setter}
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  12. David Sedaris _ Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk: A

    It was the stupidest thing the cat had ever heard of, an AA program in prison.
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