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Book: Me Talk Pretty One Day
Quotes of Book: Me Talk Pretty One Day
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  1. David Sedaris _ Me Talk Pretty One Day

    what fantasies are for: they allow you to skip the degradation and head straight to the top.
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  2. David Sedaris _ Me Talk Pretty One Day

    There were no computers in my high school, and the first two times I attempted college, people were still counting on their fingers and removing their shoes when the numbers got above ten.
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  3. David Sedaris _ Me Talk Pretty One Day

    Built around 1780... a two-hour train ride from Paris... the neighbor keeps his horses in my backyard... pies made with apples from my own trees..."I caught the highlights of Hugh's broadcast and understood that my first goal was to make him my boyfriend, to trick or blackmail him into making some sort of commitment. I know it sounds calculating, but if you're not cute, you might as well be clever.
    book-quoterelationshipshumor

  4. David Sedaris _ Me Talk Pretty One Day

    Moving heavy objects allowed me to feel manly in the eyes of other men. With the women it didn't matter, but I enjoyed subtly intimidating the guys with bad backs who thought they were helping out by telling us how to pack the truck. The thinking was that because we were furniture movers, we obviously weren't too bright. In addition to being strong and stupid, we were also thought of as dangerous. It might have been an old story to Patrick and the others, but I got a kick out of being mistaken as volatile. All I had to do was throw down my dolly with a little extra force, and a bossy customer would say, "Let's just all calm down and try to work this out.
    book-quoteunintelligentmanlymanual-labor

  5. David Sedaris _ Me Talk Pretty One Day

    The next summer we went to France for six weeks, and I added another 420 words, most of them found in the popular gossip magazine, 'Voici'. "Man-eater", I'd say. "Gold digger, roustabout, louse"."Who are you talking about?" my neighbors would ask. "What social climber? Where?
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  6. David Sedaris _ Me Talk Pretty One Day

    Boxes of records made me think that LPs should be outlawed or at least limited to five per person, and I soon came to despise the type who packs even her empty shampoo bottles, figuring she'll sort things out and throw them away once she's settled into her new place.
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  7. David Sedaris _ Me Talk Pretty One Day

    Walking home with the back half of the twelve-foot ladder I turned to look in the direction of Hugh's loft. 'You will be mine,' I commanded.
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  8. David Sedaris _ Me Talk Pretty One Day

    The walking tour guides one through the city's various landmarks, reciting bits of information the listener might find enlightening. I learned, for example, that in the late 1500s my little neighborhood square was a popular spot for burning people alive. Now lined with a row of small shops, the tradition continues, though in a figurative rather than literal sense.
    book-quotehumorsatirefrance

  9. David Sedaris _ Me Talk Pretty One Day

    So which do you like better,State or Carolina? She was referring to the athletic rivalry between the Triangle area's two largest universities..."Definitely State. State all the way.
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  10. David Sedaris _ Me Talk Pretty One Day

    It hardly seemed fair, because, unlike a horse or a Seeing Eye dog, the whole glory of being a bird is that nobody would ever put you to work.
    book-quotefreedomworksedaris

  11. David Sedaris _ Me Talk Pretty One Day

    When it comes time to decide who gets the bottom bunk, I think anyone would agree that there's a lot to be said for doing things the hard way.
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  12. David Sedaris _ Me Talk Pretty One Day

    Every day we're told that we live in the greatest country on earth. And it's always stated as an undeniable fact: Leos are born between July 23 and August 22, fitted queen-size sheets measure sixty by eighty inches, and America is the greatest country on earth. Having grown up with this in our ears, it's startling to realize that other countries have nationalistic slogans of their own, none of which are "We're number two!
    book-quote
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